Treasures here.

It's been a quiet week, a "getting back into the swing of things" week. John went to work, the boys and I went out a few times. We stayed home more because of the insanely cold weather than anything else.

The boys are doing well, John is doing well, and surprisingly so am I. I'm still grieving, but I can talk about it without crying. Sunday night I was up until 3am crying for the baby I don't get to hold, for my empty arms. But Monday night I read and article that really helped me.

The author shared how, when she was pregnant with her 3rd, and trying to corral the other two while watering her lawn, she was approached by an elderly neighbor who told her "this is the best time of your life." As a frustrated young mother, she couldn't fathom what the woman was talking about. She felt like she spent every waking moment cleaning something: clothes, house, children... But then she was put on bedrest, and before too long was missing all that she normally dreaded. She sadly lost her baby anyway, and was sitting on the porch during her recovery, when she thought about what her neighbor had said. She realized that while this may not be the "best" time of her life, it was still important. Her children would grow quickly, and she needed to focus on this time now, and not get caught up in the details. She ended the article with a few memories of her kids, both frustrating ones, and sweet.

I really needed that article. This woman grieved, I'm sure, but she didn't dwell on that. She chose to focus on the children whom she did have here on earth. She took the time to appreciate them, and it made all the difference. To her at least. I've spent my time this week trying to keep that article in mind. I've tried to make more time for snuggles. I've tried to take more pictures (Which I WILL post on my other blog soon, I promise!), and I've focused on my boys here. I don't know that that the time I've spent with them has increased that much, there are still chores to be done and food to be cooked, but I've tried to treasure the time more dearly. Funny how hard times do that to you. The memories become dearer.